Second Chances

Everyone knows one of those couples who always seem to be breaking up and then getting back together. People like this seem to thrive on drama, the circular pattern of breaking up and getting back together is endless. I had a friend recently tell me that he’s dating his ex-wife, and claims that 15% of divorced couples get back together! While I have no way of knowing if this statistic is even remotely true, it got me thinking about second chances.

I honestly believe that everyone deserves a second chance. We are all human and make mistakes, no one is perfect. Real love requires stripping away all the requirements — love is unconditional. But before you take that plunge and give him or her a second chance, here are some things to be aware of:

FOR WOMEN:

1. ASSESS
Before you take him back, take a step back and assess the situation. Do your best to take your emotions out of this decision making process. Is this the first time he’s screwed up, or just the first time he got caught? I do encourage giving a man a second chance; but is this a third, fourth, or fifth chance you’ve given him? If so, he probably has no intention of changing his behavior. Use your intuition and listen to what it’s telling you. You already know the truth.

2. LOOK FOR CLUES
Maybe he has changed, and it’s possible that he will live up to his promises. Remember that actions speak louder than words. Forget about what he’s saying and look for real changes in his behavior.

3. YOU CAN SAY NO
No is one of the most powerful words in the English language. You can say no to getting back together and not feel guilty about it. There is a reason your relationship ended in the first place. Remember what that reason was and if his behavior hasn’t changed then say “No”. You deserve a love that makes you feel good!

FOR MEN:

1. LOVE NEVER DIES
If you truly love someone, that love never dies. Love is an energy that cannot be turned off on a whim. If you honestly love her, you owe it to yourself and her to at least try one more time.

2. ACCEPT HER
No one wants to change themselves for another person, no matter how in love we are. Real change comes only when that person desires it. If you can’t accept her for the person she is, then let her go.

3. LIFE IS A JOURNEY
If you’re one of the lucky ones, life is a very long journey. Each day, we grow and evolve based on our experiences. The first time around you and your love were completely different people! Maybe it didn’t work out that time because of certain cir- cumstances. The second time around you will have to get to know each other again, as the people you are today. If you decide to go for it, make sure you start over with a clean slate!